Revenge is a dish which is best served cold.

Last night I wrote about plotting spouses having a special place in hell reserved.  Tonight I write about how plotting can be your best strategy.

As with all of life, whether it is ethical or moral to plot is a judgment call.  In tonight's scenario, you get the notion that your spouse is seeing someone else.  Maybe they're hyper sensitive about you being in proximity to their cell phone.  Maybe they have unaccounted for hours.  But you have a hunch.  What do you do?

First you need to decide if you care to confirm your suspicions.  Does it matter if they are definitely committing adultery?  Do you really want out anyway?  Even if you are leaving, are you the kind of person who needs to know just for your sense of balance?  If so, then you should confirm.

Don't expect your spouse to come clean when you ask them.  They don't.  They usually don't confess when you confront them.  They will often have an excuse, no matter how paltry, even if you have an 8x12 glossy of them deep in the throes.  They won't confirm.  You need another strategy.

You need to catch them.

Private Investigators are the time honored method of catching cheating spouses.  I swear by them.  If you can tailor their work to specific times when your spouse is most likely to be stepping out, private investigators can be reasonably affordable. But that isn't your only recourse. 

Back to my point: you've decided you want or need to confirm.  Perhaps your need stems from your legal situation.   Perhaps your spouse will likely seek alimony from the divorce and you feel that your spouse shouldn't feed off of you while dining at someone else's table.

Adultery is a bar to receiving alimony.

If your spouse is cheating, they cannot prosper.  You don't have to pay alimony to an unfaithful spouse.

This is the occasion to plot, to plan, to marshal your evidence before you announce your intentions.  This strategy is fair game.  Why?  Because your spouse has plotted against you to engage in her relationship with her paramour and expects an unjust reward based upon her deceipt. 

You can right that wrong. It's ethical, moral and legal.

The title to tonight's installment may be a bit strong.  It's a James Bond reference.  But it speaks volumes for having patience to accomplish your objectives.  It speaks to the fortitude you have to have while you are collecting the evidence you need to ensure that justice prevails.  Your revenge, the cessation of your gravy train, is best and most certainly delivered, long after your blood has ceased to boil, but has chilled in your veins. 

Okay, that's a bit strong, too.  But this is a serious business.  And it is no less serious than the situation you face, if this is your situation.  Serious times call for serious measures.  I won't excuse it.  I don't have to justify it.  I just have to prove it. But then, that's what I do.

Michael Manely